When we think about someone with ADHD – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – many of us picture a small boy, hurtling around the classroom – shouting, unable to sit still or focus on schoolwork. While it’s certainly true that many young lads fit that classic profile, the condition can also manifest itself in other, more subtle ways, especially when it comes to women and girls.
Leanne Maskell was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and now runs ‘ADHD Works’, offering coaching to people with the condition, training for specialist coaches and workplace consultancy. She points out that everyone with ADHD is unique but that children who display physical symptoms tend to get spotted earlier than those who instead struggle with busy thoughts.
Difficulty Controlling Attention
“Despite the name, ADHD isn’t so much a deficit of attention as a struggle in regulating it,” she explains. “The ‘interest based nervous system’ linked to ADHD means that we’re motivated and energised by interest, adrenaline and novelty – so things that are of interest may feel easy, versus those that are not. We can focus, we just don’t have very much control over what we focus on!
“ADHD is also linked to an approximate 30% developmental delay in executive functioning skills such as memory, self-awareness, planning, self-motivation, emotional-regulation and impulsivity. This essentially means that a person may struggle to ‘do what they know’.”
Learning to Celebrate Neurodiversity
Leanne received her diagnosis aged twenty-five after completing a law degree. “I always knew there was something different about me in comparison to others my age, but I just assumed I was ‘broken’ in some way,” she recalls. “I couldn’t concentrate in school at all, but I managed to get good exam results – to the point that one teacher asked the class if I’d cheated. I didn’t understand how I was able to do this either!
“Being diagnosed changed my life completely as I was able to stop beating myself up for not being ‘normal’,” she continues. “Understanding how my brain works allowed me to embrace that instead of fighting against it.”
Huge Emotional Impact
Before the diagnosis, Leanne often felt her life was spiralling out of control as she bounced from job to job, arguing with family and friends and even changing countries. She was also drinking heavily, eventually becoming suicidal.
This difficulty with controlling emotions is also an important but less talked-about feature of ADHD, she says, with one aspect – rejection sensitive dysphoria – causing particular distress. This is where someone experiences intense emotional pain at real or perceived rejection.
“Although this isn’t in the official diagnostic criteria, every single person I have coached resonates with this,” she asserts. “This led me to give a presentation to the World Health Organization last year, because it needs to be formally recognised. One in four women with ADHD have attempted to take their own life, and there’s also a five-times higher risk of suicidal ideation linked to ADHD.
Learning to Cope with Intense Emotions
“Learning about RSD saved my life,” she carries on. “I didn’t accept the diagnosis of ADHD at first because I didn’t resonate with the ‘hyperactive schoolboy’ stereotype or know much about the condition. However, when I learned about RSD, I was able to accept the diagnosis completely and start to understand how to manage it – ‘name it to tame it’. I have successfully coached hundreds of people in learning how to manage intense waves of emotion and to avoid acting impulsively because of them.”
Leanne advises parents of ADHD kids to learn everything they can about the condition and to encourage their children to do the same. “ADHD doesn’t mean that your child is disadvantaged – just different, which is a good thing!” she urges. “Giving them a shame-free space to celebrate their differences and focus on their strengths can help them to thrive.
“The best advice I have for parents is to look after themselves. You can’t give from an empty tank. Families are often looking for ADHD coaching for their children, but if the child doesn’t want it, it won’t be particularly helpful – it could just be another thing they have to fit into their schedules.”
Leanne’s book ‘ADHD: An A to Z’ is published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers at £12.99. She wrote it after hearing there was a seven-year waiting list for an NHS assessment. “It’s for anybody who wants to understand what ADHD actually is and how it can be understood, supported, and harnessed to work for you,” she concludes.
