Nurturing – providing food, comfort, protection or support – is often associated with looking after pets or plants or bringing up children. Certainly, all children need kindness and care to become healthy, happy adults and functioning members of society. But what about young people with Special Educational Needs (SEN)? Do they need a particular kind of support to flourish?
In recent years, ‘nurture groups’ for children with behavioural issues – which may sometimes be caused by SEN such as autism or ADHD – have become popular in primary and secondary schools. These are small groups led by more than one adult which take place away from mainstream lessons. According to the charity Nurture UK which promotes this concept, the idea is that nurture groups encourage social and emotional skills which then help young people to interact with their peers and achieve academically.
The charity names six key components of nurturing:
- Safety
- Wellbeing
- Language
- Transitions
- Learning
- Behaviour
In 2011, an OFSTED report into the effectiveness of nurture groups found that where the groups were working well, they had a considerable, positive impact on the behaviour of the participants, helping them to better manage their emotions. The successful groups also provided parents with helpful strategies to use at home.
How Can Parents Provide a Nurturing Environment?
Of course, nurturing extends beyond school to all aspects of a child’s life. What can families do to make their children feel supported and cared for outside the classroom?
Cathy Wassell is CEO of the Autistic Girls Network and the author of, ‘Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person – A Parent’s Handbook to Supporting Newly Diagnosed Teens and Pre-Teens’. She also has a master’s degree in autism and is the mum of two neurodiverse children.
She says that nurturing a youngster with special needs is about helping them to develop a positive identity around themselves and their diagnosis. “There’s still much stigma around neurodiversity,” she comments. “The rates of bullying are very high. We’re also surrounded by people who see neurodivergence as a deficit. It’s also very common to get a diagnosis but then no support after that.”
Helping a Young Person to Identify Their Strengths and Weaknesses
One way to help a child understand themselves and develop positive self-regard, Cathy suggests, is ‘energy accounting’ where the young person creates two columns on a piece of paper – one for ‘strengths’ and the other for ‘challenges’. Under strengths, they might write down things that make them feel good – their special interest, for example. Challenges might include school or other environments which can be overwhelming.
“Once you’ve done that, you can help your son or daughter to plan the week ahead,” she continues. “You can look at which days or activities are likely to be challenging and pre-empt burnout. You could also offer strategies while you’re walking side-by-side or driving in the car – you might say, ‘When you do XYZ, maybe you could try this?’”
She cautions that depending on how demand-avoidant your child is, you may have to tailor your language in such discussions to make it as non-confrontational as possible.
Educate Yourself on Your Child’s Profile
Often, people will have more than one aspect to their diagnosis, Cathy points out. They may even have four or five neurodivergences – autism, ADHD, and dyspraxia, for example, alongside other health conditions such as Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS).
“For parents, it all starts with understanding your child, listening to how they feel and believing them. Exhaustion is quite common in young people. They are dealing with sensory aspects, processing information and mixing with other people all day.
“Upskill on their sensory issues – are they sensory seekers or avoiders? Both? If they’re always chewing their clothes, for example, can you find a way of replacing that sensory input with something else? They might use ‘chew-ellery’ but it’s important to let them decide what ‘works’. If they’re violent, maybe you can give them a cushion to hit but it’s also important to figure out what’s behind that behaviour and what’s causing them to feel overloaded.”
Nurturing Social Skills
On the friendship front, Cathy says that specialist clubs can provide a safe space where neurodivergent youngsters can be themselves. She recommends parents encourage schools to set up autism-friendly activities for lunchtimes and after school – Pokemon being one example – but that these are ideally established with input from neurodiverse youngsters themselves.
