Easter is a Christian festival but it also celebrates spring. Whether you’re religious or not, you can’t fail to feel more hopeful when the mornings are a bit lighter and the daffodils and snowdrops are bringing a bit of colour back to parks and gardens. Then, of course, there are the chocolate eggs……
But no matter what’s going on in the outside world, it can be easy to feel despondent if you’re the parent of a child with special needs, especially if you’ve just received the diagnosis. Depending on your son or daughter’s challenges, you might wonder, for example, whether they’ll be able to pass exams, get a job or one day have a family of their own.
But many professionals who work with youngsters with SEN are adamant that children can surprise us with their ability to master new skills and lead fulfilling lives.
People With Dyslexia Can Excel
Tom Newey is one such success story. He was finally diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of ten after years of struggling with schoolwork. “I was always really tired when I got home because it took me so much effort to focus on my lessons,” he recalls, “and it always took me hours to finish homework that was supposed to take twenty minutes. The teachers were dismissive. They said my problems were because I wasn’t concentrating.”
Once his challenges had been identified, he received better classroom support and by the time he left secondary school, he had achieved good grades in three A’ Levels. But even though he was offered a place on a business studies course at Durham University, he turned it down.
“I initially took a year off because I lost confidence,” Tom explains. “I was worried about falling behind and uni’s also very expensive. But I realised that I didn’t want to learn the theory of business – I wanted to run a business.”
Do What You Enjoy
Three years ago he set up ‘Layers Treats’, making and selling hand-made Belgian chocolate bars online and through gift shops. It’s been so successful that this Easter, he’s on target to sell 5,000 chocolate eggs.
“To me, business is a game,” he elaborates. “It’s exciting to get orders. I actually started my first business in Year 5, selling jewellery from abroad. I plan to start many new businesses in future – I’m not content with just one. My next plan is to buy an Airstream trailer so I can work at festivals.”
Tom advises other young people with SEN to find their passions in life. “Don’t let anyone knock your confidence. Hone your skills,” he urges.
Autistic People Can be Successful
Tutor Amanda works as a SENCO in a secondary school, has a master’s degree in psychology and runs a consultancy advising schools and healthcare professionals on dealing with autism. She lives with her partner and two children in east London. Despite her many personal and professional accomplishments, she has autism herself and is currently awaiting ADHD assessment.
Amanda found out she was autistic aged thirty-four after her son was diagnosed with ASD. “I used to ‘get’ why he did certain things,” she recalls. “For example, he couldn’t sit still on the carpet in primary school or look at the teacher. He was always fidgeting or climbing but when the teacher asked a question, he would be able to answer it. I remembered I was also like that as a child.
“I pursued a diagnosis for myself because I wanted to know why everything in my life had always been so hard,” she continues. “I didn’t have friends at school and to start with, I thought it was because I was mixed race. I’ve always suffered with depression and rejection sensitivity – I thought, ‘I’ve either got autism or there’s something wrong with me!’”
Empathy for Kids With SEN
A few years down the line, Amanda sees her ASD as a strength that helps her to relate to neurodiverse youngsters trying to fit in to the education system. “I’ve always loved working with the ‘needy’ kids and seeing them make progress,” she says, “and I don’t expect them to behave in a neurotypical way. I want them to feel accepted, no questions asked – that’s what everyone wants. You can be ‘wired’ differently and still be successful in life. You need people around you that believe in you.”
However, early support is crucial in helping people achieve their potential, she maintains. “My son has always had brilliant support and is now doing an internship with a big company. He’s beginning to see his worth. My daughter is also neurodiverse but didn’t get great support at school – it’s taken her a long time to make sense of herself and her abilities.”
Find a SEN tutor to support your child >>
