“There are 700,000 autistic people in the UK”. However, a recent study by The Lancet, in 2023, suggests this figure is substantially higher. There is also a growing belief that the number of girls with autism is much higher than we currently believe.
To ensure inclusivity in our autistic community, one crucial skill we could examine is communication. Children with autism might not always grasp communication rules that we may take for granted, for example:
- Turn-taking
- Patience
- Listening/responding
- Context
- Social cues
- Language development
We could learn together about different communicative perspectives, to try and embrace both approaches. As a neurotypical person communicates, they could be mindful of an autistic person’s:
- Sensory needs
- Potential to think literally
- Need for visual supports
Ways to help your Child
Practice: Practising conversations can facilitate patience and turn-taking. The family unit provides a safety net where skills can be fostered via conversations. As we communicate, it is important we acknowledge an autistic view, whilst gently helping to expand their skills.
Visuals: Images lessen anxiety, offering concrete illustrations to help those who can not or are not ready to verbally communicate.
Speech therapy: This can greatly help language development. Once assessed, a speech therapist can focus on setting achievable targets. For example, if a child interrupts, a therapist may study the context of their conversations to decide on a strategy, such as relaxed group sessions, where children are encouraged to converse, bearing in mind prompts about listening, empathy and patience. Other areas, such as echolalia, (repeating phrases) can also be supported.
Miriam, a primary school teacher from Newcastle has a son of 21 with autism. She spent many years nurturing his communication skills during childhood.
Learning through play: To build social confidence Miriam planned many playdates for Tom: “I would give him time to prepare; we would think about activities his friend might like; I would also ask him if there were any toys he’d prefer not to share, and removed them beforehand, to minimise any potential for upsets’’.
With support from his mum, Tom began to enjoy playdates and he gradually improved his listening skills, turn-taking and conversations.
Ask questions: Curiosity helps socialisation; it could be useful to teach your child to ask questions. For example, they could ask friends what games they want to play. Miriam adds, “teaching your child to make positive comments, such as ‘I like your drawing’, can also support a child’s social interaction and friendships’’.
Role play: Children with autism can benefit from role-play to help them practice social interaction. As Tom got older, Miriam used role-play to help him to prepare for playdates. “We kept it quite short and made it fun; I’d make suggestions and ask Tom for his ideas. There were no expectations, and I’d encourage him to try things out without worrying about errors.”
Social stories can be used to prepare for playdates and help a child understand when something has gone wrong i.e. each other’s thoughts/feelings, and how to make repairs.
Preoccupation with a topic: An autistic child may talk at length about a specific topic, (often about a subject they are passionate about or it could be an issue upsetting them), leaving little space for others to contribute. “Tom often did this when talking with his best friend, Yasmin”, explained Miriam. “I’d gently suggest that Yasmin may want to speak, or I might suggest a change of topic. Over time, Yasmin would also support Tom in this way and would ask: ‘Tom, can we talk about something else now?’
If there’s a trusted friendship, it can really help to share some of the challenges. Both Tom and Yasmin learnt about communication together.”
Social norms and expectations: Some autistic children may find it hard to appreciate social expectations. Discussing an approaching event, such as a doctor’s appointment, to explain what generally happens can be very beneficial. Again, role-play and social stories can help them understand what to expect and how to respond.
Keeping things relaxed and spontaneous: Conversational practice should occur within an informal, gentle setting, without feelings of potential judgment. Random opportunities can be taken to discuss a past event, such as a holiday or excursion, to encourage your child to converse. Family mealtimes or chats in the car can be great opportunities for supporting conversational skills in this way, and parents can also gently prompt their child to listen and take turns in conversation.
Social cues: Nuances can be missed in autistic culture. Drawing attention to people’s faces, body language and tone when conversing is invaluable. Asking your child what they think someone else might be feeling by noticing these things can also build their skills.
Since Tom turned 16, Miriam has taken more of a back seat, “He is much more confident with communicating now and has some lovely friendships. He’s still learning, and I do check-in sometimes to ensure things are ok. He will also check-in with me and his dad, often by text when he’s not sure how to respond to something, usually when there’s been a misunderstanding with a friend”
Miriam summarises helping her autistic son build social confidence as, “something we have learnt together’’. She feels her role has, “helped him express himself freely in his own way, whilst supporting him build social skills and confidence and learn more about social norms.”
As you help your child communicate, you need never feel alone. Support groups (see below) to help you embrace your child’s needs are at the touch of a button, whether you just need a chat or may need further advice.
- https://www.beyondautism.org.uk/
- https://www.autism.org.uk/
- https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/
Please note: The information provided within this blog, by SENsational Tutors, is for general information purposes only. We appreciate that every person is unique, and any advice/experiences mentioned within the content of each blog may not be reflective of your own personal experience. All information on the site is provided in good faith and is for educational informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with appropriate professionals
